There's Never a Right Time to Say Goodbye

I will be saying goodbye to my dream apartment.

For months I had been manifesting a way to stay; 40 days of transformation meditations, gut detoxes to improve my intuition, scripting, money manifesting, saying affirmations in the mirror.

Determined to talk down the rent increase, I marched down to the leasing office wearing my favorite tennis dress while listening to the Challengers soundtrack on repeat, imagining myself talking them down to no increase at all.

Truthfully, I wouldn’t have stayed even if the rent stayed the same.

I was a different person when I moved into that apartment 2.5 years ago from Philly. New York City, my light at the end of the tunnel. The marker of success that had been out of reach for so long.

The apartment came into my life via happenstance, the original place I put an offer on falling though. I received the news while in the ball pit at The Color Factory. My solo day trip to New York City quickly switching from a date with myself to apartment shopping.

I went to a café in the West Village called Hungry Ghost, and looked through listings that my friends sent me on my iPad. I called a broker about an apartment and while that one had been taken he had something he knew I would like—he needed to confirm with the tenant if he would be able to show it that day.

10 minutes before my Amtrak train was scheduled to leave Moynihan station I got the call, and I immediately moved my train and caught the subway to the West Village. It hadn’t even been listed on the market yet; I was the first to see it.

Within one nanosecond I knew I wanted the place, already scarred from the terrible apartments I had been shown. It was perfect and had everything on my list. I filled out the application on the train back to Philly, and as they say, the rest is history.

I’ve been grateful for every second I’ve spent in that apartment. The West Village loft of my dreams. The place where I went full time in my business. The place where I designed, printed and sold my first planner. The place where I lived when stopped drinking. Where I recorded my first masterclass as a brunette. Where I hosted my first moon journal party. 

Eventually I will view this as a turning point, the moment I truly went all in on myself and my brand. In some ways I already do, but right now I still feel sad.  

I made the final decision on the beach in Athens. After a truly perfect day, it hit me; there is so much more to the world. The idea that one apartment in one city is the only thing that could make me happy was a joke; this realization was what finally gave me the courage to admit what I had been too scared to face all along.

The first question everyone has been asking me; “where are you moving?”

 My response; “that is a great question.”

I read somewhere that the universe will put obstacles in your path to get you to move in a certain direction, and that feels like what it happening here.

“I may not know what happens next, but I know in hindsight it will be perfect.”

xoxo,

Allison

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