"This or Something Better"
This time in my life has me reevaluating all my beliefs.
I’m facing the most uncertainty I’ve experienced in the past 5 years, and probably even since I graduated college.
My panic drug of choice is applying to Tech jobs I don’t want, which has been ceremoniously unsuccessful. My soul provides little to no help in filling out the applications or writing the cover letters. It’s a pure ego driven action, taken from a last ditch effort to hold on to everything we are about to “lose.”
This life in New York City was my biggest dream for a long time, and there are moments where I feel like I’m walking away from so much with no idea what comes next. But the majority of the time I feel incredibly empowered. I did everything I set out to do in this last phase of life.
I launched my planners. I went full time in my business. I lived out my wildest NYC dreams.
I know in my gut that signing another lease does not feel aligned right now. It doesn’t feel expansive, it doesn’t light me up. It feels forced.
What does light me up is selling all of my stuff, putting the remainder in storage and traveling and continuing to build my brand and life coaching business, all without the pressure of a $5,000 rent payment.
Sure, I could potentially lead a more frugal life and find a place with a more reasonable price tag, maybe in the $3,000 range, but that feels more like a last-ditch effort to death grip what I’ve already manifested. It feels so uninspired, and I don’t do uninspired anymore.
I’m really excited for this next chapter of life. This situation would have been my ego’s nightmare in the past, but instead of feeling anxious and uncertain, I feel… excited?
I’m a little scared that come August 2, I’ll look around and be like what the actual F have I done with my life and why didn’t I just stay in the apartment that was lowkey above my means even when I did work my Tech job, but this move feels like the ultimate honor of self.
Plus a few days later I'll be in Europe for the trip of a lifetime and those fears will inevitably vanish.
No offense, but I don’t care if anyone "gets this."
This move is for me to get clear on what I truly want out of life and business. It's about prioritizing myself.
Here is what has already become clear…
💸 Building sustainable wealth is becoming much more attractive to me than high expenses. I’m a luxurious woman, but the idea of drastically decreasing my monthly expenditures in the short-term feels so sexy. And you know I’ll use this as a catalyst to create something even better. That’s one of the things I do best; rebuild.
✈️ I still want to come into the city for events, with the NYC Calendar Club and Tortured Bloggers Department, and spend stretches of up to one week per month in the city (until November, when I enter phase 2 of my plan) but how cool is it that I’ll get to spend more intimate time staying with friends (who have already generously offered their places) or having a hotel moment? I’m genuinely looking forward to this. It feels so intentional, like I’m truly honoring where I am at instead of forcing things to work.
😻 Meeko is one of my top priorities; I want him to feel safe, happy, cared for and with me when I’m not traveling. I do see him becoming more of a road trip Kitty when I get to that portion of my travels, or may be even I’ll even get him a pet passport?!?!? For the first few weeks / months, I’m going to be receiving help from family with him, which is so incredibly healing for my hyper-independence wound.
🌸 I’m done pretending things are working when they’re not; in this next chapter, I’m fully embracing vulnerability and authenticity, because I didn’t become a life coach so I could pretend to be OK all of the time. Ew.
I want my life to be easy—I have zero interest in doing it all on my own anymore.
To quote Taylor Swift… “I’m doing better than I ever was.
Thank you for sharing in this next chapter of life with me.
All of that said, I really do want to help you. The point of going through this is to create and lead an 100% authentic life, and at the very least I hope this inspires you to take some kind of bold action you’ve been too scared to take.
I’m running an insane special on One on One Coaching—I have the space and capacity for more clients and I would just really love to help you get into alignment within your own life.
I also just launched my Summer of Love group program, love yourself to love your life. The first call was amazing, and the program hasn’t even really begun yet. Sunday's Breathwork Session is the true kickoff:
I love you so freaking much.
Remember to believe in yourself today.
Xoxo,
Allison
